Remember that book, Go the Fuck To Sleep? While I try not to get that vulgar with my children, my dog does not escape so easily. Inspired by the book—particularly the reading done by Samuel L. Jackson—I started writing short bits of my own “book” on Twitter. With the latest frustrating installment, I think I’m done.
I call it… Take a Fucking Piss.
For Percy: It’s 11:00 at night / The insects collectively hiss / You’re sniffing every blade of grass / Just take a fucking piss.
More for Percy: My iPhone display illuminates you / As you inspect that and this / Mosquitos feed on my flesh / Just take a fucking piss.
I walk, stressed about tomorrow / You sniff with an ignorant bliss / the chance to sleep is ticking away / Just take a fucking piss.
Thunder rumbles in the distance / you’re distracted like something’s amiss / youll never get wet if you’re inside / just take a fucking piss
By walking you around the yard / 12% of my vacation I was forced to miss / A cement wall really isn’t interesting / Just take a fucking piss
The temp drops like it passed a cruiser / 80 down to 56 / You don’t give a shit you have a fur coat / just take a fucking piss.
You finally took your fucking piss / I assumed that you were through / With my back turned, you rolled around in some unidentified shit / …
… just get in the fucking tub.
If anyone wants to illustrate, just let me know. 
