Take a Fucking Piss

Remember that book, Go the Fuck To Sleep? While I try not to get that vulgar with my children, my dog does not escape so easily. Inspired by the book—particularly the reading done by Samuel L. Jackson—I started writing short bits of my own “book” on Twitter. With the latest frustrating installment, I think I’m done.

I call it… Take a Fucking Piss.


For Percy: It’s 11:00 at night / The insects collectively hiss / You’re sniffing every blade of grass / Just take a fucking piss.
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


More for Percy: My iPhone display illuminates you / As you inspect that and this / Mosquitos feed on my flesh / Just take a fucking piss.
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


I walk, stressed about tomorrow / You sniff with an ignorant bliss / the chance to sleep is ticking away / Just take a fucking piss.
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


Thunder rumbles in the distance / you’re distracted like something’s amiss / youll never get wet if you’re inside / just take a fucking piss
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


By walking you around the yard / 12% of my vacation I was forced to miss / A cement wall really isn’t interesting / Just take a fucking piss
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


The temp drops like it passed a cruiser / 80 down to 56 / You don’t give a shit you have a fur coat / just take a fucking piss.
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


You finally took your fucking piss / I assumed that you were through / With my back turned, you rolled around in some unidentified shit / …
@adarowski
Adam Darowski


… just get in the fucking tub.
@adarowski
Adam Darowski

If anyone wants to illustrate, just let me know. ;)

4 Comments

  1. On October 23rd, 2011 at 12:56 pm PaulP said:

    I see you have a male dog… you can’t even jog with a male dog, they sniff everything! They will also only pee a little to mark the spot and save some for other spots!

  2. On October 24th, 2011 at 9:40 am TJ Kelly said:

    I LOL’d.

  3. On October 24th, 2011 at 10:46 am WendyG said:

    You should send this to Allie at Hyperbole and a Half. She has great dog drawings.

  4. On October 24th, 2011 at 11:29 am Nick Peters said:

    I second the Hyperbole & a Half + Adam Darowski collaboration! This is awesome, Adam!